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Today we're talking about… stress and overwhelm. Is your stress and overwhelm keeping you from manifesting? It has been a chaotic week for a lot of us, so I think this message is relevant now more than ever.
Y’all know I say this a lot…. but manifestation happens because of the way you live your life, your identity, your lifestyle….everything you do and every decision you make, every feeling you have….. is causing a manifestation.
If you’ve been listening in… you’ve already heard me get up on my soap box about this SOOO many times, and if it’s your first episode, welcome!
Manifestation is a lifestyle, your identity
Manifestation doesn’t happen as a result of one moment. It is the result of how mentally healthy you are, how healthy your relationships are, your physical health, your hobbies, etc. This is why I want to dive into so many life topics!
Manifestation does not happen in the 5 minutes a day you dedicate to visualizing. It happens in the moments and in the thoughts you have while you’re living your fucking life.
If you’re struggling to manifest, think about how you’re feeling every day. Think about the way in which you live your life. Are you generally stressed? Happy? Angry? Carefree? Elated? Overwhelmed? Whatever you’re consistently feeling is what you’re manifesting.
If you’re frustrated or overwhelmed majority of the time, that is what your frequency is set to, and you will manifest more of this. That is why it’s easy to fall into cycles of stress, overwhelm, and ultimately into burn out.
And y’all, I have a fucking confession to make. I was not living my best manifestation life a few weeks ago. I was in Coronado for about a month helping out my brother and his wife with their kids—all while making consistent visits to the beach.
I was relaxed, having a great time, and making my personal growth a daily habit. I listened to my audiobooks, podcasts, I read a couple of books I’ve been waiting to finish, I journaled, meditated…I did ALL the things that I want to build habits around and I was feeling really good. I felt connected and I felt like I was revitalizing my connection with my intuition and the Universe.
We headed home and the second my foot stepped into that plane… I allowed overwhelm to consume me. All the sudden I was lost in what I needed to do that week. I didn’t have a podcast episode ready, I didn’t get a chance to set my social media blasts in advance, I needed to brainstorm some blog ideas, I had unread e-mails to get to, I needed to unpack, I needed to reach out and touch base with clients, I needed to take my car in, I needed to…..[fill in the blank].
Does this sound familiar to you? Cause I feel like SO many of us have a habit of doing this. Especially my fellow go-go-go’ers.
Within seconds I had forgotten how to live in that relaxed state of oneness with my intuition that I really connected with while I was away. And I know that sounds really “woo woo”, but I’ve really struggled to regain that connection with my intuition and always had a label of someone that felt disconnected from spirituality. So, it was a really nice time for me to embrace that side and get to know what it really felt like to connect.
But when I got home…I’d immediately allowed my ego to take over. I “needed” to do so many fucking things, that I was already forgetting how to be. How to connect with oneness of the Universe. And, I know better. I’ve been taking one of Eckhart Tolle’s courses on oneness and all I’ve worked to implement this presence, this place of being….and apparently, I’d had a momentary lapse and fell into old habits. We all do it from time to time because we’re not perfect…
Knocked on my ass
This disconnection, this busy-ness, this overwhelm, already started manifesting little things going wrong here and there. Thankfully, I was literally hit by a trashcan on a walk with Luna (our puppy) which forced me to go home, ice my foot, and take an epsom salt bath.
Of course I go home and I was having a negative reaction because I was still in that energy of frustration and disconnect. But while drawing my bath, I paused for a moment and realized what I’d been doing. I had a beautiful moment of awareness and I was immediately proud of myself for noticing, forgave my actions, and started to feel more grounded as my gut was telling me to use this time to relax.
So instead of running back into my office or studio to check something off my to-do list… like my ego was telling me to do … instead…
I grabbed some candles, lit some lavender incense, brought over my favorite chunk of amethyst, and even pulled my Angel cards off of the shelf. A beautiful soul and dear friend of mine gifted me these cards for my birthday and I hadn’t spent much time with them yet.
If you’re not familiar with angel cards, these beautiful cards each represent a theme or a lesson to be learned, a lot like tarot cards; however, it uses Archangels instead so if you don’t like the idea of tarot, or if you have some beliefs about their meaning and you aren’t comfortable with them, consider angel cards instead. Personally, I like to use them both. As many of you know already, I’m not religious, but I think all provide some beautiful insight to be gained.
I began shuffling and thought “Alright intuition, let’s reconnect….I will meditate on whatever card comes out”, and the Universe delivered. As I shuffled, card #18 jumped out at me—Archangel Haniel. I just fucking love the Universe’s synchronicities.
As someone completely new to angel cards, I had to grab my booklet of meanings and read up on the description and what it said was that this card was meant to guide you to your intuition and spiritual connection. It served as a reminder that you are Source and so you are always connected, even when you do not feel that you are. And as I read about the card, it was clear to me that the message was a friendly reminder to reconnect and re-assess my old patterns that had returned, and it was a reminder that I am intuition so I cannot lose it.
After this gentle reminder, I paused and looked at my internal shit I “needed to do” list, and took 90% of it off my plate. Then I focused on what felt good, light, and connected with that feeling that I’d cultivated on the beach. I decided not to post to Instagram for over a week (which I’m loving), I took a break from my coaching certification, and I let myself unwind and let go.
So I got out of the bath and decided on a movie night to replace my previously scheduled work night. As soon as I got comfortable with some popcorn, a good movie, and a glass of wine—the Universe was like “GREAT! That’s the fucking frequency” and I had a fantastic moment of inspired action where I paused Netflix, grabbed my laptop, and wrote an entire podcast episode in one sitting, in record time. I think Elizabeth Gilbert calls this Big Magic.
I was in frequency, and I was writing outside of myself. I let go of the stress and the fucking overwhelm that were blocking me, and manifested exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
I share this story with you as a gentle reminder. It has been a chaotic few months, or like… a year. So I hope my struggles with overwhelm and stress over the past few weeks serve as a gentle reminder to you also. You do not have to have it all together all the time. If you’re feeling overwhelmed… stop and reflect on what is really important. What feels light and expansive?
You are more than your productivity
Most of society tells us that money is the key to everything—success, happiness, power. For many of us… this means society and money has taught us that relaxation and downtime is laziness because it is not “productive”. I’m here to tell you—FUCK THAT. Productivity does not make up your self worth.
We can be badass women who run the fucking world AND we can boldly take the time to relax, check-out, conduct some self-love, and do nothing. Or as the Italians say, “dolce far niente” —the sweetness of doing nothing.
You can be a fucking badass that is killing it 50, 60, 70% of the time, and allows herself that other 30, 40, 50% of the time to relax and rejuvenate. It’s hard. It can be a challenge to change your behavior if you have been living the Wall Street lifestyle with no work boundaries.
Working 24/7, checking e-mails at all hours of the day and night, working on the weekends, NEVER SAYING NO….Many of us, especially younger women, are so eager to prove ourselves to the world that we don’t have any sense of balance. We convince ourselves that “we will rest once we are successful”. But will we?
I challenge you if you have that belief. To manifest the life you want, you have to act as if before you get there. If you can’t relax and enjoy life now, you’re not going to when you become successful either. The habits you develop now will continue regardless of your success.
Take a moment to reflect on your lifestyle. What adjectives would you use to describe your overall life?
I remember lying to myself years ago saying “I don’t know how people don’t always go-go-go. I love the energy of always having something to do to motivate me!”. But nope, I was lying to myself and didn’t even realize it. That was a toxic belief I had.
Subconsciously, the truth was that slowing down and finding time to sit with myself would force me to take a look at my life, my emotions, my relationships, and at that point in my life… I wasn’t ready to do that.
Before I knew any better, I thought busy-ness was a badge of honor to be worn and bragged about. “Oh, you stayed at the office until 8? I was there until 9….Oh, you took off Friday? I worked all weekend…”. This isn’t healthy, but it was a belief I’d held because my dad always talked about hard work and proving yourself.
This worked just fine for him because he would leave the office and couldn’t be reached via a mini-computer in his pocket. It’s no wonder many of us struggle with burn out and anxiety. We’re always on and work has tried to eliminate boundaries.
So as I sat in that tub after a trash can beating, disappointed in myself up over not posting to Instagram because “that is no way to scale your business” I had a wonderful moment where I was reminded of self-love and connection.
My message for you is this. If you’re hustling hustling hustling, trying to fucking MAKE IT. Stop, let go, and get in flow. Don’t work against the current, work with it. I don’t care if you’re an entrepreneur, lawyer, fashion designer, data scientist, doctor…If you are working from overwhelm you are more than likely, manifesting a harder reality for yourself.
Yes, you can still be successful with a “I will overwork myself to success” mindset, but you’re going to suffer much more along the way. And I don’t fucking want that for you. Not for a damn minute. Women deserve all the fucking success that we want, AND we can get it easily.
Let go of the belief that to be successful, you have to outwork everyone else. This isn’t true. Yes manifestation and success require action, but the biggest component, and the more important component is your mindset. Work smarter, not harder. Or as I like to say, work from your intuition, not your ego.
Make life easier on yourself, fuck the overwhelm and list what actually matters this week. And ask yourself these questions….What idea or to-do gets you most excited? What can wait? What is not critical? What lights your fire? And, these don’t have to be about work.
Then, once you’ve put some shit on the chopping block… decide what you will do to bring joy into your day. What you will do to slow down and focus on you so you can bring about that feeling and that connection.
That’s all I got for y’all today. Fuck the overwhelm, and have a great rest of your week. I will catch y’all next Monday!
Check out this discussion in podcast form:
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Additional resources mentioned:
Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Realization of Being, Eckhart Tolle